A year and a half later...

It's been well over a year since the angry adenoma that wreaked havoc over my system was destroyed by my evil-slaying surgical hero, Dr. Armando Sardi. So much of my life has improved since then as I continue to reclaim my energy and enthusiasm daily, in larger and larger spurts. But there is still something that I deal with that lingers inside, and as much as I feel better physically, I haven't seemed to kick this particular side-effect. Residual depression.

I can thank more than a few of my fellow Conn's survivors for coming out to me here on this blog and on the support sites for making me face this condition. Because of their openess and honesty, I felt compelled to address the problem of survivor's depression or lingering sadness that results after a major surgery. Conn's, in particular, is a disease that effects so much... from brain-fog to memory loss to chronic fatigue...it can leave the patient feeling very low and confused. I can't count how many times my confidence was tested at work and at home. My family thought I was crazy, as did my employees, when on a daily basis, I became confused, forgetting dates and information that was essential to running a business. My belief in myself plummeted a bit, so did my motivation. Now that I can focus and retain detailed information once again, I feel much better, but this change did not take place over night.

If I do the math correctly, I had Conn's for over eight years. That's eight years of walking around in a fog, suffering severe fatigue, feeling hyper-sensitive and ultimately feeling embarrassed of the forgetfulness that became so ritual.

Electrolyte imbalance, that's what living with Conn's does to you. It sounds easy enough to fix--drink some Gatorade, eat loads of bananas and take some more potassium supplements, but as we know that doesn't cut it. Having such an imbalance creates the same in all areas of your well-being, from the physical to the mental. In an early posting on "Tips for living with Conn's", I mentioned getting on anti-depressants. While I went off them after surgery, I'm still not 100% "there." They helped during a difficult time, and now I feel more myself--but not completely yet.

At this point, I still remain very positive. I don't look back and never, ever do I beat myself up over the mistakes and short-comings from Conn's "hormone wars." Bouncing back from any surgical procedure can take time, but for my fellow P.A. peeps, ours will be a recovery filled with much self forgiveness and patience. I believe the depression will disappear completely with time. For now, I move forward with the big plan, focus on all the good things I have in my life, and thank God that I am able to coherently write, educate and help others who have this confusing, destructive disease called Conn's. And yes, I refused to be conned by Conn's.